{Finding Myself Through Christianity} “What does it mean to be a Christian and still be my real self”? This question at first was difficult for me to answer throughout this assignment. What makes a Christian a Christian? Someone who loves God, follows God, and has Jesus in their heart? Someone who goes to church regularly, never swears, and prays before every meal? I think the definition of a Christian cannot be defined fully. I believe that God wants us to live our lives following Him and making the right choices. He wants us to live life to the fullest and be blessed, but is that what a Christian is? Throughout the twenty years I have lived on this earth, I believe my childhood and the hardships I have overcome made me the Christian I am to this day. My childhood was a great childhood. Both of my parents have stayed married and love each other with everything in them. We always lived in nice, but not too extravagant, houses with everything we needed. I grew up going to church and Bible study every week. My brother and I prayed before every meal and put on our imaginary armor of God every school day. We grew up with good influences and a good group of family friends. It wasn’t until I was five years old when I asked Jesus into my heart that everything changed. I don’t remember it clearly but my family loves to tell the story of when I got saved. I believe that from that day on, I started living. I attended a private Christian school from Pre-K until eighth grade. I decided to leave private school and start home schooling because of a number of issues. I didn’t have many friends at the school and some of the kids were very two sided. They would raise their hands during chapel worship on Wednesday’s and on Saturday’s gossip about the people they called friends. I knew I needed better influences in my life so I left. Doing online home school was fun for me until I became very lonely. I started feeling depressed and I soon came to the conclusion that God wasn’t there anymore. I felt abandoned by God and by everyone around me. People or teachers didn’t surround me; it was just my computer and I. My parents didn’t know how awful I felt through this because I became good at hiding it from them. I started slacking on my work and using the Internet to cheat my way through classes. I was more interested in watching TV than learning Spanish. I was in a bad place and I never knew why I felt that way. Through home schooling and the feeling of loneliness I lost myself and lost faith in God. My parents started to notice a change in my behavior while I was home schooling so my mom decided to enroll me in college courses with my brother at Oral Roberts University. I was nervous because this was my first college experience and I had just turned sixteen. I was barely a high school student turned into a college student. Once I got in the classroom everything was fine, I made friends quickly and felt like an adult. The work was hard and tedious but somehow I managed to do it. The semester after I attended my first college class, I decided to see what dorm life was all about. Even though I had been an ORU student for a semester, I wanted to feel the reality of college life. My friend Sarah and I signed up for a college weekend experience held by ORU. We stayed in the dorms, ate at the cafeteria, and attended classes in the same classrooms as regular college students. We felt mature and well, smart. It didn’t hit me until our first chapel service. I looked out at the crowd of students in front of me, lifting their hands and crying out to the same God I abandoned not long ago. I wanted to be like them, diligent Christians who lived for the God who created them. At that moment I decided I was going to attend ORU after I received my high school diploma. I knew this step in my life would be the change I needed to get real again with God. Without faith, I would never be able to find the end of the story (page 230). Looking back on my life now, I know that my decision to attend Oral Roberts University was the best choice I have ever made in my lifetime. Being at ORU has changed my relationship with God tremendously for the better. When I was at that dark place in my life I thought that praying and reading my Bible were chores I needed to do in order to be a Christian. I forgot there was a way to live my life and still be a Christian. I have learned how to keep a relationship with God and still live to be the person I truly am. To this day I live my life to the fullest appreciating everything God has given me. If it weren’t for the hardships I have been through, I wouldn’t be the same Holly I am today. Once I found myself again, I started attending church as well as going to chapels at the University. Church was good for me because I was able to surround myself with people who knew what I was going through. I believe that ORU’s policy to attend church gave me the push I needed to find accountability. The church does not define my relationship with God, but it taught me how to believe (page 230). To be a Christian and still be the real me is simply to live life learning from my mistakes, moving forward with life, and seeing every day as a chance to smile. God made me who I am with every flaw and perfection. He knew while making me that I would make mistakes and hit rough patches down the road. He knew I would stray away from Him when life was too tough to handle. He also knew that I would turn around and find Him again. He knows that the love He has for me is stronger than any love I could ever have. Life will always through curveballs but it is my job as a Christian and as a believer in the Word to never give up on the love God has given me.